gnawing.

I only said it cause I mean it.

Well, actually I haven't said a thing.

But listening to Terrified makes me feel like I have actually said something.

For the first time. And the last time.
In my only life.

Yeah.

Sigh. I should be asleep.

But I can't. F.

Night is the best time for clarity.

A few moments before I sleep I stare at the ceiling.

The occasional car outside would zzhhhsshhhssshhhhh.

The sound varies depending on the engine. But the quality of light remains the same.

Faint orange grills casted on the gray wall. Similar to my desk lamp, but more subtle.

And everything feels so real and tangible, it makes me feel almost normal.

Maybe I'm normal. I could be.

I could have been. I think I can manage it.

Sadly, due to my newfound insomnia, these moments stretch far too long, and the illusion of reality in normality disappears.

Art is pain love joy jealousy hatred conceit exhaustion