Pfft.

I saw this awhile ago. And I've decided to write my own version of what it would've been like if I was the best friend.

Boy: I broke up with her.

Friend: What happened?

Boy: She's just too much for me.

Friend: What makes you say that? What did she do wrong?

Boy: Well, for one, she only cared about her appearance. Always had to look good, always took forever to get dressed! So insecure.

Friend: Well, it's your fault for liking a twit who doesn't understand that a good relationship would include physical acceptance.

Boy: And she'd often call me or text me asking where I am, who I'm with, telling me not to smoke, not to drink. She's so clingy!

Friend: Your breath's disgusting when you smoke so you can't exactly blame her for that. But she should encourage you to drink - you being drunk is prolly the only reason you've been together for so long.

Boy: But... Uhh... Well, she'd always cry when I say something slightly mean. She can't handle anything. She's a crybaby!

Friend: Mental, that one. She should've known you always jest and insult people. So she expects you to accept her for being psycho-clingy, but can't put up with a little light teasing? She expects you to spend all your time with her when she goes mad over every little thing you say?

Boy: She'd get jealous easily. I could barely talk to other girls! She's so annoying! I had to hide it from her so she wouldn't bitch about it.

Friend: What? She bitches about you to her friends just cause you're being a normal human being and talking to other girls? She obviously doesn't give a damn if her friends treat you badly or stigmatize you just cause of her spoilt, petulant ways. If it's so easy for her to make others turn against you for such a small act then she doesn't love you at all.

Boy: Yeah...

Friend: Yeah. She obviously only wanted the best for only herself and not you. She was being selfish and wanted you tied down in a leash to follow her around. You made the right choice, mate.

Boy: Yeah... What the fck was wrong with me?

Friend: Dunno. You can be a bit stupid sometimes.

Yes, well. That's it. I didn't like the original one cause I don't think it's a guy's job to understand and accept every little psychotic insecurity his girlfriend has. A relationship is supposed to be about working and making compromises together, not clinging to traditional gender roles of expecting the guy to do everything. It's degrading.

Besides, you can't use love as an excuse for everything. Because love is supposed to have a balance of knowledge and faith, independence and need, acceptance and compromise. It's not just about one, and not just about the other, and neither is it about possession and status. It's hardly about that at all.

Though... In reality, the conversation would've gone something like:

Boy: I broke up with her.

Friend: Oh.. Okay. The Hole or Timbre?

Boy: You choose.

Friend: Hole, then. Gimme 40 mins.

Because that's what BEST FRIENDS DO!

Except Hui Yi.