Echoes.

So that's how it is then.

Twelve years and it's come down to barely audible echoes of a suppressed emotion, a peal of laughter, a shift in perspective, a flash of frustration mingled with silent, fatal determination but never quite materialising into a tangible presence.

Fists punching air. Phantom shivers running down your spine.

I can hardly remember how it begun. It was just like any ordinary day.

Had it rained? Yes. I walked to the hall with Sophie. She mentioned the weather, and seeing me from the car and the possibility of skipping Chapel.

The Hall. Like every other hall. Two years I still can't remember the Psalm on the wall. Those who dwell in the Shadow of the Most High -

I - can't remember it. Though I'm sure Lynn could quote it. And two hundred sixty-four point five more. Maybe Vanow, too. She takes Bible classes. Our hair length is currently still tied, despite my attempt to project hair- lengthening thoughts into my scalp. It remains disobedient.

I sit next to Jia Ying, who earlier on decided to plan a photo shoot on the day, but when asked, said she had no camera. Brilliant minds. By the time the boy-scout-whatever-you-call-him shouted the whatever-you-call-that, Sam, Lilian and Shutz have yet to arrive. Nic said something misogynistic. I sang the school song pissed.

Chapel.

Everyone was standing, dead. Our class was moving with the beat. Like one of those slap-stick terrible parody films where they pan close ups and everything seems alright and then the next frame's a bird's-eye view and there's a clueless average, white, blond English male singular moving amongst a group of serious ass buff African American men. An absurd juxtaposition. I'm sure there's a lit term for that. There is for everything.

TzeJin stands endearingly still. Like the boss that he is. De Cotta twits something about joy - the sermon. Winston slept. The whole line of them: Sharon, Jem, Derrick, Edison.

The canteen is quiet. We whisper soundly. The table next was Amelia, Nands, Mariko, Celestine laughing about something vague. Olivia eats something healthy in front of me. I eat my usual ration of meatiness. We talked. Laughed. Schemed. Though I'm pretty sure I altered the timeline in my head so this came before GP.

General Paper.

Ms. Too praises us for our early morning show of enthusiasm while simultaneously reprimanding us for yielding to the Standard Chapel Speaker's Pavlovian Response. And then forty minutes passed and that was the last classroom lesson I'll probably have.

And the world hasn't quite shifted on its axis yet. I think.

Not even after Rachel asked if I had an extra shirt and I told her I could take my blouse off but the world isn't ready for the wonder of my naked body yet.

Or when I had consult with Mr Tay at approximately 2.48 pm and he mentioned he liked Star Trek.

Or when I waved goodbye to Hui Yi as she toddled off in search of Alfred.

Or when I walked out, and alone, to the bus stop.