Theatre is not something to be pushed into.
Pain. Clawing envy. That satisfied grin a reminder of amateur, undedicated, soulless performance. No pain, no lingering reminder of inadequecy. You cared about the laughter, not the piece.
You're not a thespian.
Well, neither am I.
So why this pain. Why this urge.
God, I don't want to be pushed into anything. And I don't deserve it if I don't want it.
Theatre demands fire. So why this.
This. Blasphemy.
I am such a hypocrite.
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