Earendil?

Emotional block.

That's when you really want to do something but your arteries are all clogged up and your chest feels the pressure. And it's like you're gonna be dead any moment but amazingly, you're not. At least not yet. But due to the lack of oxygen, you don't really think clearly and you do all sorts of things out of place. Actually, you don't really know what you're doing. You just do it, because well, you think you're gonna die soon. You just have to, or you'll miss the opportunity. Which you actually won't, because you're not really gonna die.

But when it clears up you get to think more clearly, and you realize you shouldn't let your heart rely on your emotions, because your emotions rely on other people. Too risky, that is.

But then...you just get clogged up again. But you can't, cause you've told yourself too often to do otherwise. And it's not really very easy to reverse that...

Am I making sense?

And will I ever find Earendil?